Updated: Jan 25, 2022
Early on in our journey with cancer, Todd and I decided it would be extremely important to stay positive. We had to work to not let cancer invade our every conversation. There is a specific journal entry that I cannot seem to put my fingers on (as mentioned before I'm still working on gathering and organizing) that talked about how "Bec and I" are staying positive and that we are doing a good job at being positive. The entry goes on to say how that day we had taken the doors off the Jeep and drove through the country.
I remember everything about that day and when the weather permits, I take the doors off and drive that same country road.
At one time, someone asked Todd about how he was dealing with the cancer taking over his body. Todd calmly explained that he did not think of it like that, he continued to think of a healthy body and visualized a healthy life. We had to explain to others that we would prefer not to be the recipients of the "poor Todd" outlook. Todd would often turn down visits with people that he knew would give the "pitiful Todd" vibe because it brought him down. We continued to plan fun things throughout and focused on moving forward, even when the pain and sickness made it hard. Moving forward is difficult but is possible because of the endless support we receive.
As I reflect on the past year, the support that surrounded us was, and continues to be, incredible! The reflection of the amazing support helps Maggie, Caroline, and me move forward each and every day. So...THANK YOU! Thank you to everyone and anyone that has supported Maggie, Caroline, and me throughout our journey.
Thank you to:
our neighbors...I cannot thank my neighbors enough for the love and support they have provided. Melissa and I spend quite a bit of time together during the day
Greg is always there when Maggie, Caroline, and I need anything, including his truck, his muscle, or fatherly input.
for the spur of the moment invites!
S & S Tire...George and Johnny at the S & S Tire in Brannon Crossing have always taken great care of our family and vehicles. We received generous gift cards to four different restaurants from this business back in April which meant so much to the girls and me. I never worry about car issues because I know I can say, "Go talk to Johnny or George" and everything will be taken care of for us. This trust in a business provides a great sense of peace for me since Todd was the one that was in charge of all things car related.
Grassy Lawns and Squires Elementary..for taking care of my lawn at no cost to me all season and making sure the tree planted in Todd's memory is alive and well! Thank you Stephanie for facilitating everything!
Kroger pharmacy...the pharmacy we use goes above and beyond to make sure we have what we need, both during Todd's illness and today. They know us by first name and genuinely care for our well being.
lunch and dinners...both family and friends continue to reach out and meet for lunch or dinner. Most recently I went to dinner with Todd's dad and stepmom. It was great to see them for the first time since March. COVID concerns have prevented many of us from getting together sooner. Todd's good friend Brad and I met for dinner last week and it is always nice to laugh and cry with those that were closest to Todd. Friends from camping, teaching, and more have reached out to get together and I cannot thank them enough!
Jeff and Drue...for the calls, invites to Brevard, and random thoughts and memories they share as we remember Todd.
Colin...for all he does for us around the house and the love and support he provides!
My mom, dad, sister, and brother...for always being there no matter what the need!
I feel like this post could go on and on giving thanks to so many and for that I am so fortunate. Finally, I would like to thank Caroline and Maggie for always checking on me when they are not home and for all the days spent, just the three of us, hanging out.
Everything listed above is why I can pull myself up on a day/week that I am down. No lie, I have been struggling a bit lately. Grief reaches out and grabs you, and squeezes just a bit too hard, at random, unexpected times. Writing this post has helped me stand up, put one foot in front of the other, and move on even though I feel like sleeping on the couch with Netflix in the background. I am learning to accept the times I'm grabbed by grief, feel the emotions, but not let them hold me down.